Writing as a way of preserving sanity?

In response to:Does it?

2007-08-14T04:13:09+02:00

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In response to:Does it?

2007-07-25T04:05:10+02:00

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In response to:Does it?

2007-07-19T05:57:15+02:00

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In response to:Does it?

2007-07-19T05:14:10+02:00

In response to:Does it?

2007-07-19T04:42:45+02:00

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2007-07-19T04:12:03+02:00

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In response to:Does it?

2006-10-13T20:33:52+02:00

heh

In response to:Does it?

2006-10-13T17:18:49+02:00

This is really quite gay.

In response to:Does it?

2006-10-13T17:16:53+02:00

This thread is ghey

In response to:Does it?

2006-09-27T17:07:42+02:00

Jools you type nicer stuff and look way better here than at the orange place.

In response to:Does it?

2006-08-18T22:47:59+02:00

erm, bit scared this site worked out my email address before I even posted here!

hi JEWELS, be strong, we're the sane ones it's all those 'normal' folks who are crazy.

In response to:Does it?

2006-08-18T22:03:48+02:00

Fancy a shag?

In response to:Does it?

2006-06-07T17:28:29+02:00

This blog is quieter than Fred West's kids.

Write something Jewels!

In response to:Does it?

2006-06-05T19:04:44+02:00

Heh @ Artoo and Sixbomb.

In response to:Does it?

2006-05-12T14:31:47+02:00

How nice!

In response to:Does it?

2006-04-14T16:06:32+02:00

Guide to surviving a break-up or:
Heartbroken and loving it!!

Breaking up is hard to do – but well worth it!

It’s still painful to admit even now, but my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me at Easter. I’ve survived the worst of the heartache of the situation- the painful part now is admitting that HE broke up with me and avoiding becoming the bitter and twisted individual that my emotions so want me to become. The bruised ego, the damaged pride – the admission that someone I loved found me less than 100% desirable despite knowing me intimately for nearly two years are all attempting to mould me into an angry young woman. I mean, the nerve of the man. The short-sighted and unappreciative nerve of the man. How dare he? The fool… I’ll show him… etc, etc.

However, as with horse riding, I firmly believe it is always best to immediately hop back up onto the horse and keep on riding. It’s a method I’ve found to be hugely satisfying in terms of diverting your focus from the ex and what (or who) he might be doing and onto the latest beau. The only real criterion for the new beau is that they must be appreciative. There’s nothing like a bit of ego-massage from a worshipping new man who’s hoping you will hop up on his horse as soon as the chance arises (or any other bodily part for that matter…). If one is not working, try a second and, if you can spare the time, a third – simultaneously if possible – multi-dating is the way forward for sure. They do say variety is the spice of life and right now I’m feeling spicy.

With all this rebound dating there are a couple of things to keep in mind such as, keep your Saturday nights free. As per Samantha in SATC, your Saturday nights are for hunting for fresh meat (her words). In fact, Samantha should become a role model of sorts in this particular circumstance. The pearls of wisdom she dispenses should be adopted as yours… for instance her recommendation to never have sex with an ex. If it’s bad then it’s bad but if it’s good, well, you just had sex with an ex – you can’t get it anymore and it may leave you desperate for more and even more unfulfilled. On an additional note, this also detracts from you moving on mentally, physically, sexually and emotionally. And you should move on as soon as possible. Try to go out at least within a month of the unfortunate incident on a Saturday night with your “party” friends and flirt outrageously (or at the very least, smile cheekily) at every semi-attractive man.

Always look forwards NOT backwards. Learn what you need to from your mistakes and then change yourself to create a new and improved you for the future and live your life with gusto and with purpose. Think about moving onwards and upwards: your new man will eventually be more attractive, more successful, more charismatic, more compatible and more fantastic in general than your ex. Develop lots of self-pride – wallow in your own self-love (physical & emotional!) and work on all your assets by taking up new hobbies and meeting new, fascinating, amusing and interesting people. Avoid anyone who brings you down at all. This can even include your mother, sister, fair-weather friends and work colleagues. Have a minimum amount of contact with them while you focus on your new positive life. Appreciate the friends you have that are supportive and caring – especially helpful are friends who’ve been though something similar in the recent past. They understand like no one else can how you feel when your emotions are at their rawest and you feel most vulnerable but they’ll also help you get back on your feet and will join you on your Saturday days shopping or nights out or latest hobbies. Never forget them for this.

When back dating again, don’t aim for the ultimate man. In fact, try to avoid the men that you really would like to have a long-term relationship with – you would only jeopardise these. Chances are that as you are on the rebound you will not be ready to sustain an actual relationship so keep the real potentials on a slow burner. Instead go for the ones that you would never normally consider but were always interested at having a crack at: the bit of rough, the younger man, the older man etc. Don’t last with them for longer than three months – it’s after this point that the sparkle (and most of the fun) of the fling starts to fade. Make sure though that you have an overlap in place to take over so you don’t get too attached to the no-hoper relationship. This may seem a little clinical so never give the impression that you are in the relationship for anything more than fun and slowly faze them out. Stay friends with them if you can but let them know that you are not looking for anything long-term – most men appreciate this honesty and are quite happy to be “entertainment” for the short-term.

Enjoy your own company. Read the books you want, watch the films you want, visit places you want and spend time pampering yourself. However budget carefully. Break-ups are not an excuse to adopt your credit cards as painkillers. Au contraire, becoming single can be a costly experience, no longer splitting costs, so consider things like dumping the gym membership and run in the park or cycle to work (you’ll never meet people in those oversized sweatboxes anyway) and at least outdoor exercise will afford you fresh (-ish) air and perhaps some sunshine and a feeling of connection with nature and different perspective. Pay for separate yoga or Pilates classes if that’s your exercise of choice – at least you know you’ll go weekly if you’ve paid for the course and the same people will be there each week so with a little effort you could eventually bond and make new friends.

Revel in your new-found freedom – if you want to visit an old friend in Edinburgh or Amsterdam, take this opportunity and book your cheap no-frills flight and have a long weekend of fun in a new location. Speaking of new locations, if you used to live together and haven’t already re-located post-break up, do it now. You don’t need to move too far a field but far enough so you’re not in the same area, with all the old haunts surrounding you at every turn. You won’t be able to avoid them all, naturally, but you can avoid waking on a Monday morning and walking down the same streets full of poignant memories on your way to work.

Go out more but don’t necessarily drink more, just chat more, smile more, flirt more and dance more. Embrace the single life with all its possibilities – it’ll be gone all too soon again so this is a great opportunity to indulge your freedom. In six months time you’ll thank your ex for the great favour he’s done for you and you’ll wonder why you stayed with him for as long as you did at all!

In response to:Does it?

2006-01-06T10:20:04+01:00

JEWELS!!!
I found your Blog! Muahahahaha
*waves*

In response to:Does it?

2005-11-20T09:13:47+01:00

Can't be bothered at the moment - I have lots of other things to do before I start farming a blog etc.

In response to:Does it?

2005-11-20T09:10:31+01:00

Hello!

Post some more stuff, man.

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T21:36:59+02:00

Not a problem. I obviously don't have anything better to post here. Muse problems. Well, that and a hangover.

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T21:03:29+02:00

Good point, though personality is the main thing for me, by a country mile! (sorry, taking up your blog with my inane ramblings!)

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T21:00:59+02:00

Have no idea who Arthur Mullard is. Am not particularly photogenic myself. At least... I like to think I look better in real life than in photos. Surely I must otherwise how do I manage to score at all??

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:57:00+02:00

I've only got the one picture and it's old and rubbish. Plus, I am about as photogenic as Arthur Mullard.

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:55:07+02:00

Well I'm Ms Shallow - picture purlease...

Tit for tat. (in a manner of speaking...)

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:47:16+02:00

Hey! I'm not Mr Shallow! Anyway, who needs a pic when you have such a nice personality??

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:42:51+02:00

Ha ha... I knew you were only on to check out a pic. You send yours first and then I'll think about it. j

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:37:16+02:00

Hey, so far so good! What no pic?!

In response to:Does it?

2005-10-02T20:33:17+02:00

She only appears when provoked. Try writing something, and see what she thinks !

Welcome.

Phil S.